Joke: Cat Goes to Heaven

Tokoyo Cat Cafe where for $10 customers can play with their favorite cat - Image by Getty Images via Daylife

From Denny: Today's my birthday so I thought I'd mellow out and lay back on the early AM posting. Found this over at Jokes.net, enjoy!

Cat Goes to Heaven

One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. There he meets the Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me know." The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor." The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to heaven. Again, there is the Lord there to great them with the same offer. The mice answer, "All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have to run anymore?" The Lord says, "Say no more," and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.

About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things since you got here?"

The cat stretches and yawns and replies, "It is wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those 'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!"



Cat, Roller skates, Heaven, Family, Pets, Lord, jokes, Humor

Did You Hear the Latest "Study"? Cat Law of Selective Hearing

From Denny: This one really made me laugh! Do they know one of my cats? BTW, there is not a real cat study going on that I know of, however, for the right price of a few million government dollars I'll be more than happy to do one. Tell me: What outcome would you most prefer? I'll make sure to meet your marketing needs.

Seriously though, I teach my cats to come when they are called, otherwise they miss out on feeding time. And we all know cats don't like to be deprived. We have one cat that acts so much like a dog we affectionately call him "kitty-puppy."

The only time a cat won't truly come when called is when there is a predator nearby, usually a much larger cat, and they don't feel safe enough to answer or come out of hiding. Well, at least they are smart enough not to answer and give away their position. Maybe we should send an army of cats to fight our terrorist wars? They sure do understand guerrilla tactics and Special Forces ops. Wouldn't that make for interesting news coverage! :) Enjoy the funny quote.



Opie the cat yawns,"Yahoo!" photo by turtlemom4bacon @ flickr

Quote

Cat Law of Selective Hearing: "A cat can hear a mouse yawning a mile away, while filtering out the sound of a pleading human just six feet away." - Anonymous



cat law, cats, funny quotes, Pets, society and culture

How Do You Cultivate Inner Happiness?

From Denny: What I so enjoy about quotes are two things: they are short, and therefore, easy meditations and also they often speak a facet of the truth in an amazing way! This is the first quote I've run across that discusses more than cultivating personal harmony or doing outward actions to help cultivate happiness. When you read between the lines what this author is talking about is acquiring a particular attitude toward self BEFORE you begin cultivating happiness - pretty cool take on it!

Quote

“Happiness is really a deep harmonious inner satisfaction and approval.” — Francis Wilshire

Photo by h.koppdelaney @ flickr

happiness meditation harmony mental health arts literature health self-help love Francis Wilshire quotes quotations

The Happiness Philosophy

“It’s not how much we have, but how much we enjoy that makes happiness.”– Unknown

Photo by StuSeeger @ flickr

Where is Happiness Located?

From Denny: Nothing could be more true than this quote as those who have worked hard to earn it know it to be true! Love this photo from flickr friend cuellar as the tiny snail is like a symbol for happiness floating into the center of the flower. The flower symbolizes the center of you!

“All seasons are beautiful for the person who carries happiness within.” — Horace Friess

Photo by cuellar @ flickr

Love and Angels

From Denny: What Luciano De Crescenzo suggests is so simple if only we would choose to truly lift up each other. Cooperation, teamwork, less ego are the ingredients for success.

The simple act of support goes a long way to reducing anger, strife and violence that separates people. Lifting up the other person as they lift up you elevates us all to the heavens! This is such a poetic quote in its declared beauty...

"We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can only fly embracing each other." - Luciano De Crescenzo

The Art of Forgiveness

From Denny: Forgiveness is an art form long over-looked in our technology fast-paced society. This is one of the loveliest quotes I've seen on the subject.

"To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness." - Robert Muller

Photo by law_keven @ flickr

Monkeys on the Internet

"We’ve heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true." — Robert Wilensky

Photo by dboy @ flickr

Annoying an enemy the fun way

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."

— Oscar Wilde

Photo by law_keven @ flickr

Work, love, and dance through Life!

"Work like you don’t need money,
love like you’ve never been hurt,
and dance like no one’s watching."

— Unknown Author

Photo by hyperscholar @ flickr